


I'm a Dandelion, Dean!

by MelancholySeraph



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angry Castiel, Arguing, Crying Castiel, Crying Dean, Cussing, Dean Doesn't Understand, Dean finally gets it, Fighting, First Kiss, Human Castiel, Love Confessions, M/M, No particular point in Canon, One Shot, Pre-relationship but let's be honest- Those two live in each other's pockets, The most Castiel has ever said at one time-ever, They Finally Get Together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-23
Updated: 2018-05-23
Packaged: 2019-05-10 10:23:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14735165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MelancholySeraph/pseuds/MelancholySeraph
Summary: Castiel tries to get Dean to understand. Dean and Cas are arguing because Dean can never understand how hard it is for Castiel to be human, and live with unrequited feelings to boot. So when Castiel admits to him...





	I'm a Dandelion, Dean!

**Author's Note:**

> Little ficlet I wrote because of a post I saw on Tumblr. It was talking about being human and falling in love with a dandelion and that's what it was like for an angel to love a human and I was like, holy shit, that's a prompt right there, fellas. And thus, this fic was born. I hope you like it!

  
  
_"_ Dean, you will _never_ understand! Stop."  
  
Castiel tries to walk away but Dean grabs him by the shoulder and spins him around so they are face to face, only inches from each other. Dean is clearly enraged, but honestly, Castiel couldn't care less right now. He is very, _very_ angry.  
  
"No!" Dean spits at him and Castiel glares. "You're not running from this! Now tell me what the hell your problem is with me."  
  
"I don't have a problem with you," Castiel states in a colorless voice. Dean huffs and rolls his eyes. "Oh, what am I, blind? Stevie Wonder could see you've been a bitch for the last few weeks, now nut up and tell me what's wrong so I can help you fix it."  
  
"Dean," Castiel growls, "You do not want to keep goading me. **Be. Quiet.** And leave it alone. I'm fine." Castiel turns to walk away again but this time he's having none of it when Dean grabs him by the shoulder. Castiel grabs his wrist in an iron grip and uses his momentum to push Dean up against the wall, his right arm laying across Dean's clavicles, keeping him pinned to the brick.  
  
"That's bullshit, Cas, and you know it. You're not fine. Now tell me what the hell's the matter with you," He spits.  
  
"Why do you insist on your constant, needling questions? What is it that you want from me?"  
  
"I want you to answer the damn question!"  
  
"Fine! You want to know what's wrong?" Castiel demands. Dean rolls his eyes and nods.  
  
"I'm human! That's what's wrong!"  
  
Dean's immediately offended. "What the hell is so wrong with being human? I know you guys with all your celestial bullshit don't compare to us mud monkeys but-"  
  
_"You don't compare!_  For once in your life, listen! I was an angel, Dean! I was an angel of the Lord. I had a purpose! I knew my place, and I had all of Heaven behind me. I was powerful and strong and able to-"  
  
"So what? Humans are just weak little-"  
  
_"You are weak!"_ Castiel yells into Dean's face. "You are weak! And pathetic at times! I was an angel. That has been my entire existence, Dean. I was an angel, and I had a purpose." Castiel's voice is low now, and he's speaking slowly, but full of anger. "I could heal someone in an instant. I could fly. I was light, and I was Grace, and I was beautiful, Dean. Don't you understand?" He asks softly, seeing compassion, but mostly anger and confusion in Dean's eyes.  
  
"Dean, if you're a human you're entire life, your whole being is dedicated to being a human. That's what you know. That's what you are. But then there are dandelions. They're considered weeds by almost all humans. They have beautiful flowers, but they're considered weeds. Something to be eradicated, or at the very least are seen with disdain. Now imagine you're born a human. You live as a human. You're able to run and walk and fly and swim and sing. Now, what if you suddenly gave your life for one. Damned. Dandelion. And you became one? You, Dean. What if you were suddenly rooted to the earth? Stuck in the soil, unable to move or speak as you always have? What if you're entire family was disgusted by your association and tells you that you deserve to be a dandelion? There are good things. Sunshine, rain. But nothing compares to being a human the way you once were. And now you're stuck. Trapped in an existence that you have no conception of how to handle. You've suddenly been thrust into a whole new life, and nobody speaks your language. Nobody wants to understand. Nobody cares if you used to be human-" Castiel's voice cracks, but he continues. He's got tears in his eyes now, and Dean's eyes are shining too.  
  
"But you're a dandelion now. And that's what's important. You must forget your family. You must forget the bonds you've made over so many years. You have to accept that you will wither and die away in a lifespan so much shorter than your own that you can barely conceive it. You are weak, and vulnerable in a way you have never been before. And the hardest thing of all to understand? You did all of this, all of it, for one dandelion. A _special_ dandelion. It was damaged and broken at times, but always surged back stronger than ever, holding on to its roots with a conviction that would astound even humans. And you gave your entire life, your entire being, for that one dandelion. And that dandelion still doesn't understand..." Castiel closes his eyes and the knot in his chest loosens with his decision. He's finally just going to say it.  
  
"I love you, Dean Winchester. And I am tired. I'm tired of trying to hide it or try to figure out what you want. I'm tired. I've been broken and stabbed and beaten and cursed, and I've died and been resurrected, and I lived through the apocalypse, and I have never been as tired as I am right now. My very being is weary, Dean. I used to be an angel. And now I'm human. You cannot possibly begin to understand how hard that is. I have no idea of how to be a human. There's no manual, there are no instructions. You just live... And it's terrifying to me. I don't know how to do that. I gave up my whole life for you and now you tremble with tears in your eyes. Why? Because I love you? Because you're scared of what it means..." Castiel says very softly, and it wasn't a question.  
  
"Dean, if only you could understand... If only you could see-" His voice breaks and teas slip over his cheeks. Castiel looks up and removes the arm that is pinning Dean. He places his hand on Dean's cheek, just laying it there, cupping his face softly. "If only you could understand the lengths I would go to for you. I miss being an angel with every ounce of my being. I miss it constantly. Because... being human... it isn't worth it without you. I need you too, Dean. Please say something."  
  
Dean's eyes are full of tears and they've tracked silver lines on the side of his nose, sliding over his lips. "Ca-as."  
  
Castiel's spirit withers at the word. Dean will not reciprocate. Somehow, he just knows it. Castiel looks down at the floor, feeling his world crumble around him. He just lost everything in one moment of anger. Just one moment and he's broken again.  
  
Then a soft touch, a rough hand lands on his cheek and he looks up in wide-eyed amazement at Dean, the tender gesture inspiring too much hope in his chest. Suddenly Castiel is pulled into a tight hug and Dean's face is buried in his right shoulder. "I love you too, you dumb bastard."  
  
Castiel's never been so happy to be insulted in his entire life. Dean pulls away and looks at him. "All these months... I never thought about how hard it must be for you. And I'm sorry I wasn't there, Cas. But you're wrong. Someone does care. Someone can understand, or at least try to. Someone can help. I care, Cas. Okay?"  
  
Dean's lips lift into a small smile and Castiel can't help but to lean in and press their lips together. Stars don't explode, and universes don't ignite in wonder at their kiss. But Castiel's world comes together, and everything is right. "Okay, Dean."  
  
And he knows they're going to be okay.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you thought, if you feel the urge. I love to hear from you guys.


End file.
